Imagine by Lucy Fridkin
Vas Con Dios
The playa was quiet, a lazy wave lapped the sand and a gull called down the sun. The salt from the sea and the sweat of the afternoon mingled. The courtship had been fast by design: a smoldering glance and a short skirt.
Not nearly enough time to savor the revenge.
He slithered to his back and whispered a vulgar invitation. She lifted the damp sheet and slid over him.
Given the perfect angle, what was a girl to do?
The dagger plunge between his ribs. It seemed a shame to rush his demise but justice was often swift.
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For more Friday Fictioneers go here. Rochelle will give you 100 words to create your sea tale.
This was in my town’s square outside of one of the oldest missions in Baja Mexico. The dancers were celebrating Revolutionary Day.
La senorita está esperando y esperando bailar
Photo by T. Delaplain
Dear Tracey,
Apparently, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Nice picture: The señorita hopes and hopes to dance. Sweet. Good story, vivid descriptions.
Shalom y paz,
Rochelle
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Obviously not the same senorita.
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And he seemed such a nice chap.
Lots of questions, terrific writing.
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She failed to see his good attributes, apparently
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a gull called down the sun Wow! wish I’d thought of this line.
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You may steal it at any time.
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Thank you!
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It seems to me that she did have enough time to savour the revenge, any more time and he might have turned nasty, like I guess he has done before.
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Very true. I think she had time to plan before she seduced him.
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Dear Tracey,
Mexico suits you. I too loved the gull calling down the sun and I loved the woman with a plan, unafraid to carry it out. Very smooth and strong writing. Well done. The title is a subtle one and pretty perfect for this tale.
Yours,
Doug
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Muchas gracias. I like the title too but I’m not sure that either character will go with God.
Tracey
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It started off so calm and peaceful…. Nice twist. Love the photo too.
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Just a lazy afternoon in bed….
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Lots of questions about what he has done but presumably he was a nasty piece of work and got what was coming to him. I too, liked the gull calling down the sun but also the mixing of the salt and the sweat.
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I think describing smells makes a piece so visceral. Smells are prominent to my memories. (of course, this isn’t a memory).
Thanks,
Tracey
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A nicely atmospheric piece. That revenge was served hot and swift, wasn’t it? I wonder what he did? Great tale
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Probably a history of many bad deeds.
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Quite possibly 🙂
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Ooh, I wonder what he did? Maybe if someone wrongs her again she’ll take her time…
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I think she’s a pro at killing.
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Not exactly afternoon delight. Now, there’s an ugly mess to clean up in the bed.
Beautifully descriptive writing, Tracey. And I loved the B & W photo. That’s my favorite art form.
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Something tells me that the senorita will not hang around to clean up after herself. I love B&W. It’s all fun and games until the knives come out.
Thanks
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That’s why it’s always wise to bring a gun to a knife fight.
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Action packed story. Loved the descriptions.
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Thank you, this scene kinda left a bad taste in my mouth. I have no idea where stories like this come from. Ha ha
Tracey
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good grief! he didn’t realize what was coming. well done, señorita. 🙂
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Muchas gracias. Aprecio tu comentario.
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Very dark. The use of the word slithered never signals good deeds.
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Yes, very effective at setting the mood. Eew. Thanks for reading.
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As Maths teacher I look for stories with arresting angles. Wicked!
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Thanks
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Great descriptions,Tracey. She got the job done alright! Nice writing.
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Great job, Tracey! I’d like to think it took place during the revolution. Why not? A lot happened down there.
My great-grandfather was a doctor, by the way, for the Mexican Railroad back in the days of Pancho Villa (yes, and worked on him whenever Villa got wounded). My great-grandmother, who was a Spaniard, was named Maria de Loreto Bernal y Cavasos (they called her Loretta here), so the sign is of big interest for me. That picture rocks! Good old black and white, crisp, detailed. It don’t get much better than that. 😉
Five out of five whoopee cay-yiy-yays!
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Nice one!
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Great descriptions, I can feel the heat. I wonder what the revenge was for, though.
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Revenge or something even more sinister?
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Simple deadly revenge.
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I wonder how such a wonderful poem could inspire murder.
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I think this is superb. You’ve got a perfect balance of imagery, character building, backstory and action. And it’s got me wanting to know more about her. I’m in awe.
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I bet you only cross her once. Ha ha I’m feeling the CIA in this somewhere.
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