Photo credit by Sarah Potter
Scrape Off The Day: The Unwritten Rules for Women Medical Students.
by T. Delaplain, MD
Always be more than prepared; know the common, the obscure, the zebras and the pearls.
Don’t be wrong; that’s a luxury.
Never flinch or duck; your male colleague will always see it.
Blend in but stand out.
Never cry; every tear will be made legend.
The stairwell is your holy sanctuary; use it, for you will break every rule, every day.
Stomp, rant, and rail against the sexism.
And then scrape the blood off your shoes, you earned it.
Tomorrow’s a new day.
Who’s shoes will you walk in? Rochelle will give you 100 words to decide. Join us at Friday Fictioneers
I’m celebrating my 30th medical school reunion this year and I’ll be meeting up with several of my colleagues. When I started medical school there were 11 women in my class of 50. I don’t think I truly appreciated how rare women medical students were then. Our medical school classes are 50-60% women now and we as a nation should be grateful for this equality. Woman make great physicians. But I don’t think we are completely past sexism in medical education and I’m certain that there will always be a student, an intern or an attending physician taking refuge and scraping off her day in the sanctuary of a hospital stairwell.
Dear Tracey,
I bristle when I tell someone something about what my doctor said or did and they say something like “why would he do that.” I will point out that my doctor that I’ve been seeing for over 20 years is a WOMAN! And SHE is brilliant! I loved this piece. Thank you for sharing it. BTW, there’s a female doctor in my third novel. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 2 people
Most of my doctors have been women. Their very best quality is that they listen.
Thanks Rochelle,
Tracey
LikeLiked by 1 person
I liked the anger, and I also liked the zebras and the pearls
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you know about zebras and pearls Neil?
I’m not angry any more. I paid my dues and earned my male colleagues respect over time.
Thanks,
Tracey
LikeLike
Brilliantly done, Doc!
I am watching Season 3 of Outlander (ugh… after watching two seasons on Netflix, the weekly wait is horrid) and, of course, Claire is the only woman in her class… She will surely need these unwritten rules…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I think that’s what prompted my story. There were so many brave women before me that I should thank.
Tracey Delaplain
>
LikeLiked by 2 people
So very many.. .
LikeLiked by 1 person
As the only female member of a management team for over twelve years, I feel the pain in this, Tracey. And suddenly remembered the first year after my appointment when one guy said he wouldn’t be going on the annual management team outing if I were going. I went. Hated it. Had to climb, abseil, ride horses and pee in the bushes. But I went every year after that… and he didn’t. 🙂 Job done.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Good for you. There were and still are many rights of passage for women in every field. I once had a fellow surgeon call me, “little lady” every day until I saved his patient and his ass. I was “doctor” after that.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Oh! That is not unexpected but appalling!!! I’m sure your patients are glad you stuck it out. Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s truly disgusting! Good on you for showing him, Doctor.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was my pleasure to be a better surgeon. I’m a little bit competitive. Ha ha
LikeLike
Tomorrow is a new day indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always, thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
In my experience at a large corporate, men who are strong leaders and complimented for being firm and assertive. Women who do the same are called “bitches.” If she’s compassionate, she’s called “weak.”
I’m glad there are more opportunities these days for my daughter and granddaughters. Hopeful, more men will put on their “big-boy” britches and accept women as equals.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m proud to say I was a bitch in the operating room. I preferred “captain of the ship” but regardless, you want your surgeon to be in charge while you trust your life to her. With men like you, things keep getting better. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Aww, what a sweet thing to say. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes very nicely done, and hopefully the times are a changing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Little by little
LikeLike
Dale, that is told so well and so dead-on accurate. “Never let them see you sweat” mentality… I hated it then, still do. ‘Never make mistakes’.. follows with first responder training, too. Great story.
LikeLiked by 2 people
But of course, we all make mistakes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True, and some of them are very hard to live with, especially in the field of medicine, eh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My wife went through the same but in engineering and physics… I think the same rule applies there. I do think things are changing, especially because it makes sense.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course. There have been women pioneers in every field.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tracey, everyone else has said so much about your story I’ve only been able to like their comments and yours. Beautifully done.
My 5’3″ sister became the head of the visitor’s center at Denali Park, worked her way up the ranks with kindness and the smarts our parents allowed all three of their daughters to acquire. She never mentioned being demeaned in any way (but she wouldn’t) and became the person every man and woman wanted “up front” when they road snow machines out to check cabins in the winter. She was the only one who could read the snow over the rivers and keep the team out of danger.
I’m sorry you were ever called “Little Lady!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
Your sister is much braver than me. “Little lady” makes me laugh now especially since I ran circles around that particular cowboy asshat.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, must use that term a time or two. Love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
i hope there’ll come a time when this issue becomes history. well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are moving backwards in the U.S. unfortunately. Although, I’ve been very proud of some Congresswomen who have stood up to the Bully in the White House.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Such anger. Such a burden to bear. Oh to be on that stairwell to offer a consoling smile, a listening ear.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for reading Kelvin. I could have always found a shoulder to cry on as needed but sometimes the solitude was best.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sort of sexism is unbelievable, and I’m sure that if the victim dared complain about it, the bullying would get worse. They were talking on the radio the other day about sexism in Silicon City, despite the fact that it was women who did most of the groundwork with computers in the first place. Still, you would hope that doctors would be more caring towards their work colleagues, as they work in what’s meant to be a caring profession. My doctor is male and very caring, but he’s young and doubtless brought up with a non-sexist attitude towards women.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure things are better now but when I mentor young women I always remind them that we must stay aware and stop repeating these patterns. Although with the a misogynistic Bully in the White House, I fear we are back sliding. *sigh
Thanks Sarah
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe he’s such an extreme example of misogyny and bullying that it might make many men with a tendency in that direction decide it’s not so attractive a trait and quickly mend their ways. …I know, I’m being idealistic but one can be forever hopeful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope we learn a lot about being a better nation from his negative examples. There has to be some good that comes out of this train wreck.
LikeLike
Wonderful!!! Lyrical and rhythmic. I loved it both for your writing and for the message. :o)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, I hate that we are still talking about sexism.
LikeLike
This is a very powerful story. I loved the taking refuge in the stairwell. I’m glad you had that at least. Things are changing slowly, painfully slow. This story made me think about the announcement this week that the Marine Corp had it’s first female graduate from their Infantry Officer Course. I can’t image what she went through and what she will suffer in her career.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure she will make us proud. I married a Marine and they really are the proud few
LikeLike
Ah, Tracey this is so well written – angry but with such controlled, scalpel like bite to it.
I’ve never experienced the extremes of sexism you have in my work (being in a female-led job anyway) but when I worked in one shop and customers came in to complain, shouting, sometimes swearing at me for aomething that wasn’t my fault, I found it telling that they would calm down in the face of the owner – a man! Alright to shout at the little serving girl, but the boss man gains more respect. Told me all I needed to know about that person.
Most of my GPs have been women and most have been wonderful, including my current doc who diagnosed a condition in me that had been overlooked by many male doctors for over a decade, no matter how many times I returned to tell them something was wrong.
And please tell me about zebras and pearls! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Zebras are very rare conditions, usually thrown out by the medical students that read about every possible diagnosis. Of course you are more likely to find an orginary horse than a zebra. And pearls are snippets of wisdom that usually make the diagnosis. Usually passed down during teaching moments. As in, “Never forget that patients with diphtheria, smell like a wet mouse.” I’ve never seen diphtheria but I’ll always remember that pearl. Part of our secret language of medicine I guess. Thanks for asking. You are always so good at explaining the cultural idioms you occasionally use. I’m always learning something new from you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! This is amazing – I love that. Makes perfect sense now you’ve explained it and I can just see the over eager student reaching for an exotic answer to a more mundane condition. A really thoughtful, passionate and informative piece.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can relate to that stairwell. Actually I can relate to all of it, except being a doctor. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think all women need a sanctuary where they can to shake off the day. Maybe that’s the golf course for some. The swimming pool works wonders for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Two of the best doctors I’ve ever had–both women. They get me. They treat me with respect, as a peer, not as if I have only half a brain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. There are many, many male colleagues who I like and trust but given a choice I usually choose a woman MD.
LikeLike
Thankfully, here in the UK at least, female medical students make up at least half of the cohort 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
The number of women physicians in the U.S. has markedly increased and the younger women don’t feel the sexism as much as my generation did. I’m grateful for that.
LikeLiked by 1 person