When Faith Becomes Grief

Thank you for the photo Dale Rogerson

When Faith Becomes Grief
by T. Delaplain

The familiar incense of candle wax, smouldering wicks and desperation forced the bile to rise in my throat. It had been a routine operation, on a common ailment, on a run-of-the-mill day, yet here I am with my extraordinary grief.

I knelt alone, swallowed by these hallowed halls, my unanswered prayers echoing off the alcoves of the faithful. I prayed for her tiny soul, I searched for understanding, I cursed the gods yet lit one more candle.

“What good are a thousand deities when they can only comfort us in the abstract?”


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I’m feeling real grief over the inauguration but this is just fiction. It’s incredibly difficult to keep faith with your ideals and convictions in the face of grief. I think that’s what I’m trying to express today. I’m hoping that we as individuals will find our faith in America again and that we will be able to find a way back to a united state. Now hold your candle high and be counted.

34 thoughts on “When Faith Becomes Grief

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  1. I like so many elements of this. Of course, the way you channeled your grief into a story. And I like the way your life as a doctor informs this story so strongly. I guess channeling grief is something doctors have to learn to do

    Liked by 2 people

  2. As I was reading, I felt almost like it was linked to MY story! I cannot imagine the pain a doctor goes through day after day, dealing with all and not always succeeding.
    As I read today, let us hope he becomes a good president, because hoping he doesn’t is kind of like hoping the pilot doesn’t do a good job flying the plane you are on…

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Superbly written, Tracey. Really tugs at the heart strings.
    In my profession, we hit bad news everyday. It’s why we’re in the biz, I guess. Even I have to deal emotionally with what I have heard and it stinks, usually. But, more than that, and I’m really telling it to you truthfully, this story so accurately reminds me of the questioning I did back when I was an agnostic many years ago.

    Five out of five hopes for the future. 🙂


    1. We as physicians swallow a lot of grief but it always finds its way to the surface sooner or later. Stairwells and hospital chapels at night are good place to cry. Thanks for spreading hope today. Thank you for liking my words.


  4. Last night, we were talking with some friends and Connie mentioned how sad she’d been feeling all week leading up to the inauguration. It was sort like mentally preparing yourself for a funeral. Then on Friday afternoon, we buried everything our country stands for and walked away with sorrow in our hearts.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sometimes telling yourself you can’t win them all isn’t enough. There are millions of people around the world hoping with you that America rallies and that your new president isn’t the disaster we fear.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You captured the hopelessness of grief beautifully. Beautifully written. It still amazes me that grief is what so many people are feeling after Nov 8th. But it was a death of so much.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great writing, from the feelings of helplessness to the sub-conscious hope of candle-lighting. I too was raised Catholic and associate the smell of the candles and incense with comforting ritual, even though I am now atheist.

    Liked by 1 person

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