photo credit @Liz Young
A House Divided
By T. Delaplain
It started with an innocent comment, a slightly frisky flirtation, a light breeze. No harm, no foul, the foundation was solid, nothing could touch the haven he’d built around his family. But the fresh breeze continued to build with feather light touches in passing and tiny sparks of undeniable lightning.
He should have read the forecast but he failed to heed every warning flag.
The first gust blew through the company party; too much wine and a dark corner.
The wind continued to gather strength until a gale blew through his safe harbor and his house of cards crumbled.
Join us for Friday Fictioneers. Rochelle will give you 100 words to shore up your foundation or to turn your story around. I’m wishing you fair winds and following seas amigos.
Tracey Delaplain, MD 
Deft and subtle touches in this Tracey, well done.
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Thank you. I tried to create the building tension of a storm.
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A clever sustained metaphor there
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A heady sense of alcoholic mischief at the party and a seductress hunting a victim with serious consequences.
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He is not the victim here. He’s the one who built a house of cards and expected it to withstand his infidelity. It sounds like he had the most to lose.
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A suitable metaphor. Well done.
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Thank you
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Thanks Iain. I like the tension in this piece. We know what’s coming but we can’t look away.
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Perfect metaphor for the infidelity temptress.
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I keep hearing, “He had it coming!”
Thanks for reading and commenting,
Tracey
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It all came tumbling down around him!
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Indeed, with ample warning. A light breeze rarely brings a home down.
Thanks for reading Keith,
Tracey
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Dear Tracey,
I love the weather analogies in this well written piece. Fair winds and following seas to you, my fellow water baby.
Shalom,
Rochelle.
PS If I may…there’s no ‘e’ in lightning. 😉
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I think it works, no one should be caught unaware in a gathering storm. All the signs were there for him.
I’m never far from the water. Our new summer home in California also has a lap pool and the ocean near by.
Thank you for hosting FF, this is my 7th year.
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A neat way of describing the passage of an affair.
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A gathering wind should never catch you off guard.
Thanks for reading and commenting,
Tracey
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Nice flow to this.
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Thank you. I’m glad you came along for the ride.
Tracey
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Poetic and tragic
.
You ring in the same song I’ve mentioned on Jen’s story, “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be,” by Carly Simon.
As mentioned in other comments, you wrote this extremely well. I like, “tiny sparks of undeniable lightning.” Boom! 🙂
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I hope I always feel the lightning. Thanks for reading and commenting. I’ll be over to check out Jen’s story.
Tracey
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Well done. He should have paid attention.
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Indeed, there was ample warning signs.
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Love how you built up the tension 🙂
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Thank you, I love a good storm as long as I don’t have a vessel at risk.
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Great atmosphere build up Tracey. Thank you.
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Thank you I’m glad you were along for the ride.
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one of your best. great use of metaphor.
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Thank you
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Oh this is gorgeous.some beautiful descriptions here ramping the stress… it was coming. Nicely done
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Thanks, just like watching the wind on the sea. We always see it before we feel it and there’s always time to change our tack.
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That’s what’s happens when someone doesn’t see the red flags. Nice one.
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